This weekend, I did something I thought I would never do.
I deleted a published post from this blog.
The reason? I was embarrassed.
When I started this blog, I really wanted to not hold back. I wanted to show my journey as a rider, warts and all. I try to be really honest with myself about my shortcomings.
I really wanted to be the voice that other people who struggled, and who were not perfect, could connect with.
But putting it out there on video for the world to see was just too hard.
I chickened out and took it down.
There was some of this:
A little of this:
A sprinkle of this:
And a whole lot of this:
And... I just couldn't do it. It was just too ugly.
I was ashamed, and I took it down.
I wasn't afraid of the comments. There really isn't much anyone could say that could be worse than some of the things I have said to myself. I am my own harshest critic.
But having it up there in real time for the world to see was harder than I could do.
And so, you'll just have to take my word for it. We struggle. And we have improved.
The walk and trot have improved. The canter continues to be an issue.
But one day, I will have something I am comfortable showing to the world.
Just not right now.