Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Green Eyed Monster

Or, AKA Facebook is the Devil.

Consolation. We looked like this once upon a time.
This weekend was beautiful, perfect New England weather. Long sunshine filled breezy days. Birds chirping, everything bursting into bloom. Perfect riding weather. And I was stuck with a broken pony.
 
One thing you should not do when your pony is on the DL is surf facebook.
Pictures of acquaintances doing every possible horse-related activity -- horse shows, trail rides and hunter paces -- are guarranteed to activate that mean, grinchly part of you, the one you try to ignore or stuff down.
 
The green eyed monster.
 
As I perused fb, I felt that awful beast stir in my chest. I saw pics of people who I knew had been through their share of struggles, who had put years of work into their horses, but still, pics of them merrily jumping fences, cantering across green grass, out at their first hunter pace, ate at my soul.
 
I slept restlessly Saturday night. In the dark, wee hours of the morning, I tossed and turned, anxious over Boca's future. Stressing over things I can't control. Such as whether or not these back injections will work. Faced with the knowledge that if they don't, I'm in for a world of hurt. What if that will never be us???
 
I tried to drown my anxiety in the remains of a half gallon of ice cream.
Bloated on the excessive dairy consumption, with the chemicals in my head sated, I was finally able to get some sleep. But the questions remain to be answered.


8 comments:

  1. of course you are jealous. Don't worry about it. Take one day at a time and see what happens.

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  2. Aw I'm sorry it's so stressful for you guys right now. Also, ice cream is a valid answer.

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  3. It's so hard to watch others do what you want to do. We've all been there and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. -hugs-

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  4. i'm so sorry for what's going on with Boca right now - you've really been through the wringer trying to find a solution that works for him. fingers crossed that these back injections (and ice cream, always ice cream) do the trick!!

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  5. It will be. I promise! I'm someone who has been through lots of lameness struggles and came out of the other side a okay. It'll get better :)

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  6. Yup. Ice cream. I have my own tub.

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  7. You can never go wrong with ice cream. I've been doing the same thing with FB lately and totally feel your pain. My only advice is to stay as positive and be as patient as you can. Then eat more ice cream.

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  8. Totally been there before! I'm not big on ice cream. I prefer stuffing my face with candy.

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